Watching Everyone Move Forward
Hey! Career growth hits differently when you’re in your late 30s and watching people around you move forward while you’re still figuring things out. Yesterday, I was chatting with a few colleagues when the topic of career opportunities came up. Colleague A is leaving for a better-paying job, while colleague B is also planning to leave because there’s an opening elsewhere. Both have only recently joined the company, and somehow, they’ve already found other opportunities. Meanwhile, there’s me, who spent two years struggling in my previous job until I reached the point of wanting to resign without having another job lined up. Thankfully, life had other plans, and I somehow landed my current job. Sometimes, you really have to believe that rezeki comes in ways you never expect because I honestly don’t know what I would have done if that opportunity hadn’t appeared.
Naturally, listening to their stories made me reflect on my own journey. A said it was probably down to luck. Maybe he’s right. Some people seem to have luck following them everywhere, and rezeki is rezeki. Who am I to question it? He’s also much younger than me and has the flexibility to relocate for work, which opens up more opportunities. B, who is a woman and only a year younger than me, has progressed from an executive role to a managerial position in just two years. When asked how she managed that, her answer was networking. Colleague C agreed, explaining that he knows plenty of people within his area of expertise, making it easier for him to find opportunities elsewhere. And there I was, listening to all this career wisdom like a student attending a lecture she never registered for.
I Am Tired of People
During our conversation, A asked me what kind of job I actually liked. Honestly, I didn’t really know how to answer that question. I told him I wasn’t ambitious. I’m open to learning new things, and I can usually catch up pretty quickly when I’m given something unfamiliar to work on. I could probably do almost any job, provided it’s halal, doesn’t take me too far from home, and allows me to live peacefully. That’s it. No grand five-year career plan, no dream of becoming a CEO, and no burning desire to conquer the corporate world. Just give me something I can learn, a decent income, a manageable commute, and enough peace to enjoy my life outside work.
Both B and C suggested that I should work on my networking, and honestly, I agree. Networking is important for career growth because sometimes, it’s not just about what you know but also who knows you and thinks of you when an opportunity arises. Good professional relationships can open doors that job applications alone might not.
The problem? I’m tired of people. HAHAHAHAHAHA. It’s not that I don’t understand the importance of networking. I simply don’t have the social battery for constantly meeting new people, making small talk, exchanging contacts, and maintaining relationships just in case someone offers me a job. Some people can walk into a room and leave with ten new connections. I walk in and wonder why I came in the first place. Worse, when someone starts talking nonsense, my brain sometimes imagines slapping them. Obviously, this is an internal thought, not a professional development strategy. Please don’t put that in my performance review.
My Late Mother’s Advice About Networking
Funny enough, my late mother used to tell me to attend events with influential people, mingle with the elites, and befriend socialites and celebrities. Looking back, I think she understood the value of connections long before I fully appreciated it. She wanted me to meet people, build relationships, and put myself in circles where opportunities might come knocking. Perhaps she knew that talent and qualifications alone don’t always guarantee that people will notice you. Sometimes, you need to put yourself out there before anyone can even consider you for something better.
When I worked in marketing, I understood the value of networking. Maintaining relationships with clients, vendors, colleagues, and industry contacts was part of the job, and I did my best to handle it professionally.
After four years, I finally attended my first annual dinner. Yes, my first one in four years. I remember thinking that night, “I have suffered enough”. HAHAHAHA. Maybe I had fulfilled my social obligations for the next decade.
Jokes aside, I know professional relationships can open doors. I just don’t enjoy socialising as naturally as other people do. Maybe my late mother was right when she encouraged me to mix with more people. She probably knew I’d need connections to get somewhere, while I was busy avoiding them. Sorry, Mama.
Am I Choosing Peace Over Ambition?
After thinking about our conversation, I started questioning myself. Why am I so obsessed with finding peace when looking for a job? Why is a long commute enough to make me lose interest in an otherwise attractive opportunity? And why do I seem perfectly content with the idea of doing a job I’m capable of learning, rather than chasing a particular position or title? Perhaps this explains why I’m often broke and seem to be staggering around in roughly the same career position. HAHAHAHA. While other people are busy figuring out how to move up, I’m here figuring out how to avoid a two-hour commute and still have enough energy to function when I get home. It’s not exactly a foolproof strategy for becoming financially successful, is it?
But I also don’t think it’s entirely fair to blame my lack of ambition for everything. When I was working at HQ, I knew people who had remained in the same position for more than ten years. They were based in Kuala Lumpur, where there were arguably more opportunities to explore other jobs without having to relocate far away. Yet they stayed too. So perhaps it’s not always about ambition, networking, or how easy it is to find another job. People stay for different reasons. Some are comfortable, some await opportunities, while others prioritise peace over conventional career success.
Finding the Balance Between Career and Peace
Of course, I also have to acknowledge that I’m limiting my own options. I rarely apply for jobs that are too far away, and even when I come across an attractive vacancy, the location alone can be enough to kill my enthusiasm. Getting called for an interview doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll give it my best shot if my heart has already rejected the commute. Ultimately, I want better pay and more opportunities, but not at the expense of my sanity. The two aren’t mutually exclusive, although finding a job that offers both can sometimes feel like searching for a unicorn.
Maybe I need to be more intentional about exploring opportunities and building connections without abandoning the boundaries I’ve set for myself. I can want career growth without necessarily wanting to become a corporate superstar. The question is whether I’m genuinely content with my choices or whether I’m using peace as a convenient excuse to avoid taking risks. And honestly, I haven’t figured that one out yet.
Everyone Has Their Own Career Journey
Career growth differs for everyone. Some find opportunities through luck or networking, while others relocate or take risks. People like me are still balancing ambition with peace. I don’t think I’m lazy, and I know I’m capable of learning new things. But perhaps being adaptable isn’t enough if I never actively position myself for the opportunities I want.
At the same time, I don’t believe everyone needs to aspire to a managerial position or spend their entire life climbing the corporate ladder. There’s more than one way to build a meaningful career, even if that career doesn’t look particularly impressive on LinkedIn. Maybe the answer really does come back to rezeki, although I know I can’t just sit around waiting for it while complaining about being broke. HAHAHAHA. I can network naturally, keep learning, and stay open to suitable opportunities. For me, a shorter commute and peace of mind may outweigh a fancy job title.Neither choice is automatically right or wrong. What matters is understanding the trade-offs and being honest about what I’m willing to sacrifice.
Moving Forward, One Step at a Time
For now, I’ll keep exploring suitable opportunities and remind myself that everyone’s timeline is different. My colleagues may advance faster, but that doesn’t mean I’m falling behind. I’m allowed to have different priorities, different limitations, and a different definition of success. Besides, if my career journey requires me to attend another networking event, I hope there will at least be good food. If I have to socialise, I might as well eat. And if someone starts talking nonsense, I’ll practise smiling politely while mentally drafting my resignation from the conversation.
If you’ve ever felt like everyone else is getting ahead while you’re still trying to figure things out, you’re not alone. I’m still figuring it out too, one job application, one professional connection, and one internal monologue about slapping someone at a time. HAHAHAHA. If you enjoy reading my random thoughts about work, life, and the occasional existential crisis, you can also support my little corner of the internet on Ko-fi: Ko-fi – nlymr. Every bit of support means a lot and helps me keep writing and sharing these stories. After all, we all need a little support while trying to survive adulthood, build our careers, and maintain whatever remains of our sanity. Thanks for reading!