Hey! Bullying doesn’t stop after school, and I’m one of the many proofs of that. I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve been bullied even in my 30s. Not the physical kind, but the kind that sticks in your head and comes back whenever you’re alone. I’ve experienced name-calling, humiliation, people taking away my favourite belongings, and, of course, doing all the work while someone else takes the credit. Some say that’s “office/school culture”, but let’s call it what it is: bullying.
When I was a kid, my late parents would always defend me. Now, I just report everything to my husband. LOL. It’s not that I’m afraid to fight back. It’s more like… I choose peace over unnecessary drama because some people are simply not worth my time.
But once someone crosses the line, that “peaceful Liyana” retires immediately. I once snapped at a neighbour so badly that I scared myself. And yes, I also once broke a keyboard at work. That’s exactly why I avoid getting mad. Not because I’m weak, but because I know how strong my rage can be. HAHAHA
Bullying Just Changed Its Uniform
The more I grow, the more I realise that bullying doesn’t stop after school. It just changes the environment. Instead of classmates, now we have toxic bosses, colleagues, relatives, and even neighbours. Instead of school hallways, it happens in meeting rooms, WhatsApp groups, and office pantry corners. And workplace bullies? They don’t throw punches. They throw emails and hide behind authority.
The Dangerous Mindset: “Biasalah Tu”
What annoys me the most is how society normalises bullying. When someone gets bullied, people say:
“Biasalah.”
“Tahan je.”
“Nanti kau kuat.”
As if trauma is a gym workout. Some victims even lose their lives, and yet there are adults who knew bullying was happening but stayed silent because it’s “normal”. That mindset is dangerous. Bullying doesn’t make you stronger. Trauma doesn’t make you wise. It just changes you, sometimes permanently. We are not built the same. Not everyone has the same recovery speed. Some victims turn into bullies. And that’s how the cycle continues!
I’m writing this because every time I see a bullying scene in movies or read another news report about bullying cases here in our country, it scares me. These aren’t just dramatic plots, but the reflections of what’s really happening around us.
We’re Not Kids Anymore. Now We Get to Choose How We Fight Back!
Bullying doesn’t magically disappear when we graduate. Sometimes, it’s waiting for us at work or at home!
But the good thing is, as adults, we now have choices:
- Set boundaries
- Raise reports to HR or authorities (if they function lah)
- Change environments
- Seek therapy (if you have the money)
- Protect our peace
- Choose people who respect us
We’re no longer stuck in a classroom with no escape. I’m still learning to be stronger without turning into a monster. And if that’s you, too, at least we’re growing in the right direction.
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